The Framework I teach Expats to Make Confident Decisions
- Patricia Abarte
- 3 days ago
- 4 min read
Have you ever found yourself stuck in a loop of overthinking — weighing every option, analyzing every scenario, and waiting for that magical moment when everything suddenly feels clear?
If so, you’re not alone. As expats, our decisions often carry extra layers: geography, relationships, career, belonging, and identity. One choice — whether to stay, move, change jobs, or start something new — can feel like it touches every corner of life.
That’s exactly why I created my 4-Part Decision Framework, a simple but powerful system I use in my coaching practice (and in my own life) to help expats find clarity and confidence without spiraling into endless analysis.
This is an inside-out approach to decision-making — one that brings you back to yourself before you try to “solve” things on the outside.
Let’s explore it step by step.
Listen to the episode here:
Timestamps:
00:00 — Welcome from The Hague & Autumn Reflections
01:11 — Exciting Updates: Masterclass, The Co-Pilot, and Upcoming Travels
02:42 — The Trap of Overthinking and Indecision
04:22 — Why Waiting for Clarity Keeps You Stuck
05:09 — Building Clarity Step by Step
06:25 — Introducing the 4-Part Framework for Confident Decisions
07:08 — Part 1: Clarify What Really Matters
13:04 — Part 2: Feel to Decide
20:05 — Part 3: Untangle the Inner Noise
24:25 — Part 4: Decide and Take Off
29:21 — Why Systems and Support Create Freedom
30:50 — Doors Opening Soon: Join The Co-Pilot
1️⃣ Clarify What Really Matters
When we’re stuck in indecision, it’s usually because we’re trying to make choices based on external expectations — what seems logical, responsible, or “normal.”
But clarity begins when you pause the noise and ask:
What actually matters most to me right now?
This first step is about reconnecting with your true values and separating them from “shoulds.” Maybe it’s freedom, family, growth, or peace. When you know your personal compass, decision-making becomes easier — because you’re no longer trying to meet everyone else’s standards.
A practical way to start:
Write down what brings you energy and what drains it.
Ask yourself what success means for you — not your peers, family, or culture.
Revisit these answers regularly; they evolve with every chapter of your life.
Once you know what truly matters, saying yes (and no) becomes a lot simpler.
2️⃣ Feel to Decide
Most people try to think their way to clarity. But the truth is, thinking harder rarely works — it just loops.
Your emotions are actually powerful data points in decision-making. They show you where you’re aligned and where you’re resisting growth.
The second part of this framework is about learning to feel your emotions instead of suppressing them. Fear, excitement, guilt — they’re not the enemy. They’re signals.
When you let yourself feel fully, you’ll begin to notice what lights you up and what shuts you down. That emotional awareness is often the missing link between confusion and clarity.
And remember: clarity lands when you feel calm, not when you feel certain. Creating small moments of peace — a walk, journaling, time in nature — helps your mind settle so your intuition can speak.
3️⃣ Untangle the Inner Noise
Every one of us carries old stories: I need to have it all figured out. I’m not good enough. I shouldn’t disappoint others.
These subconscious beliefs can quietly run the show, making even simple decisions feel paralyzing.
This step is about bringing those beliefs into the light so they lose their grip. In my coaching, we often work with what I call the “Bus Exercise.” It’s a metaphor for your inner world: different parts of you (like the “People Pleaser,” the “Perfectionist,” or the “Adventurer”) take turns driving the bus.
Ask yourself:
Who’s driving right now? And do I still want them in charge?
When you recognize the voices shaping your choices, you can intentionally hand the steering wheel to the part of you that’s ready for this next chapter — not the one that’s stuck in the past.
4️⃣ Decide and Take Off
Many expats hold themselves back by saying, “I’ll act when I know for sure.”
But certainty is a myth. You don’t need to know 100% before you take action. In fact, clarity often comes through action. Just like a hike where the trail splits in two—you won’t know if you’re on the right path until you start walking.
Final Reflection
When you make decisions from the inside out, you stop outsourcing your clarity to circumstances, timing, or signs. You begin trusting yourself again.
This framework isn’t about perfection — it’s about presence. It helps you slow down, listen inward, and act from alignment rather than anxiety.
Whether you’re deciding where to live, what to pursue next, or how to build a life that feels like yours, this approach will help you get there with more ease and self-trust.
I’d love to hear your story—send me a message on Instagram @amandamaxime or email me at info@amandamaximcoaching.com.
This is what I dive into in episode #87 of This Expat Life.
Listen here:
If any of these notes resonated with you, and you would like to explore more of yourself, my programs are the right containers for you to accelerate your growth or your next chapter:
Comments