top of page

Unmasking the Drive to Work Hard: The Hidden Truths of High-Achieving Expats

Many of the high-achieving expats I coach are driven by this (although they may not be aware of it 👀):

A belief that they need to work hard.

Here’s how it can show up in your life:

🔸 Always taking the responsibility at work, even when the task belongs to your manager (but he’s slacking, so…)

🔸 Not being able to wind down during the weekend - even on free days, you feel you need to be productive and you can’t just sit still & do nothing.

🔸 Finding it difficult to allow yourself something fun or big just for the sake of it - you feel you need to earn it first.

🔸 Taking most of the responsibility in a relationship and/or finding yourself repeatedly in one that feels difficult (it’s hard work).

These are real examples from my coachees, and the need to work hard isn’t there without reason:

it has usually served them or prevented them from something painful early on in life.

And that’s precisely the level I work on with them.

What we have found is:

🔹 Growing up with a mentally ill father, a distant mom, and 3 siblings taught my coachee that she was responsible for making sure everyone was OK and there was no drama, a pattern she now repeats at work.

🔹 Keeping busy with doing & thinking helped another to avoid getting in touch with painful emotions; doing nothing would be inviting them in and therefore, too scary.

🔹 Feeling deep down that he wasn’t worthy always made him work hard first, so he created his sense of worth based on his doing, not his being.

🔹 Growing up in an unstable household with fighting parents taught another coachee that love is hard work, so subconsciously, she looked for difficult relationships as an adult.

Once you can understand & accept what’s underneath the hard work, you’ll find a lot more empathy for yourself, plus healthier coping mechanisms to deal with the real emotion behind it.

So that you can step away from the reflex of putting in hard work, and ultimately, live a happier life.

Does this resonate? You are very welcome for a free discovery call - link

0 views0 comments


bottom of page