Expat Mental Health: What to Do When You’re Not Okay (and Can’t Quite Explain Why)
- Patricia Abarte
- 4 days ago
- 4 min read
If you’ve been an expat long enough, you know this feeling: life is technically fine, but something inside you just… isn’t.
Your body feels heavy.
Your mind is loud.
You’re tired even after sleeping.
You’re distracted, wobbly, overstimulated, or strangely numb.
That was me last week.
And because I shared it on Instagram and so many people messaged me saying, “Oh my gosh, same,” I decided to write about it in more depth — not as a coach, but as a human living abroad, figuring out her inner world just like everyone else.
Listen to the episode here:
Timestamps:
00:00 — Why this episode matters for expat mental health (when you feel “off” abroad)
05:10 — The week started great: the mini reading retreat (creating calm while living abroad)
10:00 — The “wobbly week” symptoms: vivid dreams, anxiety, numbness, low energy
15:10 — Why emotional dips hit harder with living abroad challenges (less community + routines)
16:25 — 5 grounding tools for emotional regulation abroad (overview)
16:50 — Foundations first: meditation, future-self visualization & EFT tapping (nervous system reset)
24:05 — Self-care, asking for support, releasing grief & surrender (building emotional resilience abroad)
The Week That Started Great… And Then Went Sideways
Ironically, my week started beautifully. I’d just been on a mini reading retreat—something I’d been craving for ages. I felt restored, inspired, grounded.
And then, seemingly out of nowhere, things shifted.
By Tuesday, I felt emotionally wobbly.
By Wednesday, I was exhausted, anxious, foggy.
By Thursd,ay I was frustrated with myself for not “snapping out of it.”
My sleep was weird—full of vivid dreams.
My body was tense and buzzing.
I couldn’t focus or access my usual creativity.
I wasn’t sad… but I wasn’t fully there either.
This is one of those living abroad challenges people don’t always talk about: when your inner world dips, you may not have the same support structures, rituals, or familiar “grounding” that you had back home. And that can make expat mental health feel heavier—especially toward the end of the year, when stress is already high, and energy is already low.
If you’re an overwhelmed expat, this part matters: emotional dips don’t always come with a neat explanation. Sometimes it’s not one big thing—sometimes it’s a buildup.
Why Expats Often Experience Emotional Dips
There are layers to expat mental health that can be hard to name, even when life looks good on paper:
Constant micro-adjustments (language, culture, systems, social cues)
Identity shifts and “in-between” seasons
Distance from your default support network
Loneliness in moments where you “should” be fine
The pressure to be grateful (which can silence real feelings)
Over time, that can look like burnout abroad—not always dramatic, but more like a quiet depletion.
And that’s why learning emotional regulation abroad isn’t just a nice-to-have. It’s essential.
Expat Mental Health: What Helped Me Get Back to Myself
I didn’t “push through.” In fact, the moment I stopped fighting it was the moment something shifted.
Here’s what genuinely helped:
1. I laid the foundations before anything else.
Meditation, future-self visualisation, EFT tapping—these are all tools that help me get out of my spinning mind and back into my body.
When I’m not okay, I’ve learned that starting with discipline and productivity makes things worse. Starting with nervous system support makes everything easier.
This is emotional regulation abroad in practice: less forcing, more grounding.
2. I practised grounded, realistic self-care.
Not perfection. Not a 5-star morning routine.
Just the basics:
walking
gentle movement
early nights
warm food
moments of stillness
When you’re living abroad, self-care often has to be portable—something you can do even when routines and environments change. This is a key part of emotional resilience for expats: choosing what’s sustainable, not what’s ideal.
3. I asked for support.
This one was hard.
But naming what I needed to my coach, and letting myself receive help, created a massive emotional shift.
A lot of expats are deeply self-reliant. That independence is part of what makes you capable of building a life abroad—but it can also make it harder to reach out when you’re struggling.
If you’re an overwhelmed expat, consider this a reminder: you don’t get extra points for doing it alone.
4. I made space for real emotions.
And when I finally slowed down long enough to listen, I realised: Beneath my anxiety was grief. Old grief. Deep grief. The kind that lives quietly in the background until something cracks it open.
Letting it out was a release I didn’t know I needed.
5. I surrendered — fully.
No more fighting the discomfort. No more forcing productivity. No more being annoyed at myself for being human.
The moment I surrendered, my system softened. And the next morning, I woke up… lighter. Clearer. More of myself.
If You’re Feeling This Too…
You’re Not Alone.
Expats often carry emotional loads that don’t fit neatly into words:
Distance. Transitions. Identity shifts.
Loneliness in moments we “should” be fine.
Stress that compounds quietly until it catches up with us.
You’re not weak, lazy, or dramatic.
You’re human.
If this resonated, I’d love to hear from you.
Send me a DM on Instagram at @amandamaxime or email me at info@amandamaximecoaching.com.
You’re not navigating this global life alone — not here.
I’d love to hear your story—send me a message on Instagram @amandamaxime or email me at info@amandamaximcoaching.com.
This is what I dive into in episode #91 of This Expat Life.
Listen here:
If any of these notes resonated with you, and you would like to explore more of yourself, my programs are the right containers for you to accelerate your growth or your next chapter:
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