How I learned Spanish & Portuguese - Tips to Overcome Language Obstacles
- Patricia Abarte
- 3 days ago
- 4 min read
Have you ever felt like language was the one thing standing between you and truly belonging abroad?
Maybe you’ve been living in your host country for years and still don’t feel fluent enough to express yourself fully. Or maybe you’re planning your move and the thought of learning a new language feels overwhelming.
I get it. I’ve been there too.
Even though I coach expats on decision-making and identity rather than languages, this topic comes up all the time. Because language isn’t just about words — it’s about how we express who we are. When we can’t do that freely, we feel disconnected, smaller, or even invisible.
So today, I want to share my personal perspective — not from a “study harder” angle, but from an inside-out one. Because what really blocks us in language learning often isn’t our memory or grammar. It’s our mindset.
Listen to the episode here:
Timestamps:
00:00 - Introduction to Overcoming Language Obstacles
04:44 - Start From the Inside Out
14:17 - Replace Resistance With Curiosity
17:10 - Connect With Locals
22:32 - Learn Through Joy: Music and Media
25:01 - Let the Language Unlock New Parts of You
30:33 - Netflix and Subtitles Method
Step 1: Start From the Inside Out
Before diving into books or apps, take a moment to look inward. What do you believe about learning languages? About your ability to communicate?
When I was younger, I didn’t think I was particularly good at languages. I did fine in school but never excelled. It wasn’t until I started learning Spanish while traveling that I realized something important — I was actually really good at it. I loved grammar, the patterns, the logic behind it.
From that point on, my belief shifted from “languages are hard” to “I can totally learn this.” And that mindset made all the difference.
Your beliefs shape your experience. If you believe “I’ll never be fluent,” your brain will find evidence of that every time you stumble over a word or get a funny look in the supermarket. But if you start believing, “I’m learning more every day,” your brain will find that evidence too.
You’ll always find evidence of what you believe — so start believing you can make this language your own.”
Step 2: Replace Resistance With Curiosity
One of the most effective ways I learned Portuguese was by surrounding myself with locals.
When I moved to Brasília as a diplomat, few people spoke English, so I had no choice but to learn — and fast. My personal trainer, neighbors, and colleagues all became my teachers. The more I interacted, the faster my confidence grew.
If you can, find ways to engage with the community beyond your expat circle. Join a volunteer group, go to a local gym, or start small conversations at cafés. If you’re single — yes, even dating locally can help! When you’re speaking the language every day in a natural, emotional context, your fluency skyrockets.
And if you live somewhere like the Netherlands, where people switch to English immediately, ask them gently to continue in their language. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but it’s worth it.
Step 3: Connect With Locals (Yes, Even When It’s Awkward)
It’s strange how success can keep us small.
My one-on-one coaching was doing well, but it also filled every bit of my time and energy. It had become both the foundation and the ceiling of my business.
To reach my next level—impacting thousands of expats globally through programs like The Copilot—I needed space.
And space only opens when you stop clinging to what’s safe.
So, I decided to honor that intuitive nudge. I emailed my community, announced that I was pausing new one-on-one clients, and prepared to trust the unknown.
Step 4: Learn Through Joy — Music, Media, and Everyday Life
Here’s one of my favorite secrets: I learned a huge part of my Spanish and Portuguese through Netflix and music.
I’d watch my favorite shows in English with Portuguese or Spanish subtitles. That way, one part of my brain was comfortably following the story, while the other was absorbing vocabulary, grammar, and phrasing — all without effort.
And music? It’s magic. I’d listen to local songs, look up the lyrics, and try to understand the meaning. (There was one funny moment when I realized I’d been singing along to a Brazilian song full of very explicit lyrics — with my windows wide open!)
Learning doesn’t always have to be structured. It can be playful, cultural, and even subconscious. The more joy you bring into it, the faster your brain learns.
Step 5: Let the Language Unlock New Parts of You
One of the most beautiful things about learning another language is how it brings out different sides of your personality.
When I speak Dutch, I’m grounded and serious. When I speak English, I’m confident and expressive. When I speak Portuguese, I’m bubbly and talkative. It’s like each language unlocks a different part of me — and all of them are real.
Language isn’t just communication. It’s an expansion. It lets you access new emotions, connect in new ways, and see yourself differently.
If you’ve ever felt frustrated about not being fluent yet, remember: the goal isn’t perfection — it’s connection. Every word you learn is a bridge between who you are and the world around you.
Final Reflection
Learning a new language doesn’t have to feel like climbing a mountain. It can be a gentle process of curiosity, connection, and self-discovery.
Start by shifting your beliefs. Stay curious. Connect with locals. Let yourself play with the language through music, shows, or daily conversations. And most of all, celebrate every small win — because those are the moments that build true belonging abroad.
I’d love to hear your story—send me a message on Instagram @amandamaxime or email me at info@amandamaximcoaching.com.
This is what I dive into in episode #90 of This Expat Life.
Listen here:
If any of these notes resonated with you, and you would like to explore more of yourself, my programs are the right containers for you to accelerate your growth or your next chapter:
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