Returning to a Place You Once Lived: Nostalgia, Dissonance & the Search for Belonging
- Patricia Abarte
- Sep 22
- 3 min read
The dissonance of familiar streets, same cafes, but feeling like a stranger in your own former expat life
As expats and global citizens, we often move through different chapters of life across different countries. But what happens when you go back to a place you once called home?
Recently, I returned to Rio de Janeiro, where I lived for six months, and to London, where I lived over a decade ago. Both visits brought up unexpected feelings—part nostalgia, part distance, and a deep reminder that I’ve grown into a new version of myself since then.
Listen to the episode here:
Timestamps:
00:00 - The Strange Mix of Nostalgia and Dissonance
01:30 - Rio Return: The Glass Wall Experience of Familiar Yet Foreign
05:04 - Outgrowing Your Former Expat Chapter
09:16 - London After 10 Years: Disconnection From Your Former Self
14:08 - Should You Go Back? Nostalgia vs Authentic Alignment
17:37 - Where Do Global Citizens Really Belong?
20:05 - Building Your Inner Home That Travels Everywhere
24:20 - Community Question: Share Your Return Experiences
The Strange Mix of Familiar and Foreign
Walking through my old neighborhood in Rio felt almost surreal. I recognized the cafés, the noise, the same nail salon I used to visit—yet I couldn’t fully let it in. It felt like looking at a painting of my past life.
Why? Because while the city hadn’t changed much, I had. I’d outgrown that chapter. My current season is focused on work and ambition, and Rio simply doesn’t match that energy for me anymore.
London brought up something different. At first, I couldn’t even connect with the Amanda who once lived there. But this time, I saw London through fresh eyes—neutral, even exciting. Instead of being tied to the burnout and struggle I once experienced, I realized it could be a city that matches the version of me today.
Should You Ever Go Back?
Many expats wonder: Should I go back to a place I once loved? The answer depends.
Here are a few things to keep in mind:
✅ Going back can be a great fit if the city matches who you are today.
⚠️ If the main driver is nostalgia or comfort, it may feel disappointing.
🌱 Remember: you’ve changed, so the experience will feel different.
“What fit you before may not fit you anymore—and that’s not a failure, it’s growth.”
Sometimes revisiting can confirm closure (as Rio did for me), while other times it can open a new possibility (as London did). Either way, going back holds up a mirror to your growth.
Belonging as a Global Citizen
Visiting these places also reminded me of a bigger question: Where do I truly belong?
Having lived in Rio, Brasília, London, Buenos Aires, and now The Hague, I feel at home in many places—yet sometimes in none at all.
That’s why I believe the key is building an inner home:
Knowing your needs and values
Accepting your strengths and your shadow sides
Creating belonging through relationships, not just geography
When you carry that foundation, you can feel at home anywhere.
Final Reflection
Returning to past homes is both beautiful and disorienting. It shows you how much you’ve grown and reminds you that home isn’t always a place—it can also be an inner state.
💬 Have you ever gone back to a city you once lived in? What was it like for you?
I’d love to hear your story—send me a message on Instagram @amandamaxime or email me at info@amandamaximecoaching.com.
This is what I dive into in episode #85 of This Expat Life.
Listen here:
If any of these notes resonated with you, and you would like to explore more of yourself, my programs are the right containers for you to accelerate your growth or your next chapter:
My online program The Co-Pilot (starting mid-October)
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